At about 2:30am on a hot Wednesday morning, woke up to complete darkness (no light as usual), as I step towards the fridge to get some water I hit my toe against an unseen object. Then I sat, and while in pain a piece of my life (or what I call a life) flashed through my eyes.
Suddenly I realized I’m not even going anywhere throughout the day, I mean a young man with no real money, no job, no girlfriend (a young naïve girl who likes you because you don’t care about her doesn’t count I guess). Amidst these struggle there has been several attempts to be better, even via popular social vices and/or crimes but still ‘no’ hope. And then you realize that at 27 nothing you have ever single handedly laid your hands upon has been successful. From the thoughts of seeing old friends buying new cars every day, or the thoughts of girls you used to chase being engaged and ready to take a bold step with their prince charming who often look like a million bucks, to the thought of having graduated as far back as 4 years ago and people who graduated after you becoming employed and asking you to send your cv to them (it hardly ever clicks though). Why wouldn’t you hate your life? You try to be content and console yourself with that saying: “Gods time is the best”.

Then you look at your bank account and you calculate that in relation to your age, then you ask yourself this “I know I’m almost 30 and my bank account is zero but is there anything I’m doing to change that?or will I be collecting loans from friends or perhaps refer myself to a charity organization for loan when its time to take the bold step with the girl of my dreams, or  is there any girl nowadays who only “comes for the body ooo” ofcos not, no girl of nowadays is willing to climb that aisle with a broke man. Oh wait what am i even saying? Where will the money for the wedding come from? then suddenly it begins to feel like untimely death is inevitable moreover its easier to die coded than to die in shame.

It is said that in every struggling boy’s life there would have been at least 4 different times of trial in which opportunity of making money in a dubious or shady way would have presented itself. And the sad part is that each time you overcome such temptations as long as you still have no job or source of income you are likely to go back to being depressed. As I begin to wallow in this dilemma and misery, I think to myself;  how about suicide? But then I laugh and tell myself ‘it’s not that serious’ but then depression is real and  my eyes begin to open to the real reasons people commit suicide, they are of heavy heart with an empty soul, everyone needs a soul rich in Christ, fed by the word and comforted by the spirit, and hope for the hopeless a soul rich in faith to carry on, a comforter even in the midst of adversities to point you in the right direction even when it seems like all hope is lost. Suddenly I realize that I have been falling a victim of depression and worry. At this hour I heard a beep from my phone ‘battery low’. I reach out for my phone to check the time it’s already 5:00 am. I fall to my knee to communicate with my creator, the lily of the valley, the rose of Sharon, my Jehovah rah, Jehovah rhofeka, Jehovah tisdkenu the beginning and the end for a brighter day.

Depression is never a reason to take a life you didn't earn or create, Run to God, he fills every empty soul and heal every broken heart.

                                         YOU ARE NEVER ALONE

Penned by Muyiwa and myself